What really happened in 2014?

It seems like after the excitement of Christmas passes, every single year I pause and think, How is it already the end of the year?  

Today in church our pastor spoke about remembering the past.  What happened in 2014?  The ups, the downs, the good and the bad.  Our memories are so often cluttered and unorganized.  We vividly remember some experiences, either because of great pain or joy while letting many memories slip away.

In Acts 20:17-21, Paul remembered both the bad, hard memories as well as the good.  During the bad times of heartache and humility we are able to experience the grace of God.  God uses those times to grow us and prepare us for the future that he has planned for us.

After leaving church and reviewing my Instagram posts (which are only highlights, not lowlights, of my year) to jog my memory, I came home to try my hardest to remember... What really happened in 2014?

So here we go...

Honduras
On New Year's Day I submitted an application to serve in Honduras, fully trusting that if I was accepted, it was God's will for me to do so, therefore I need not stress about the funding or other possible issues.  Then whatta ya know?  I was accepted to the team and my trip was more than funded (thanks to generous friends and family).  The trip was an incredible experience.  It was so neat to see God work within our team and in the villages we served.  A trip like no other, with God's presence throughout.  One of the most amazing blessings.

our team in the Pech village in Honduras

May
I think it would be safe to say that the single busiest month for me is always May: Mother's Day, Byron's birthday, our anniversary, and now our niece's birthday!  Not to mention it being the end of a school year, which as any teacher [or any teacher's husband] knows, means a month of craziness on its own.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would not have made it through this May without the comfort and peace that only Jesus brings.

I will spare you all of the details, but May was the darkest month I've ever experienced.  My anger encompassed all of my being and I was completely unwilling to give forgiveness.  So how was it that I did in fact forgive?  Only, and I mean only by the work of God.  I am only human, and when a human is hurt to the core of their being, it is not a human's desire to forgive, and even if it were, we wouldn't have the strength to do so.  Only because of the Spirit of God within us can we forgive while we are still hurting.

To be shattered, yet feel such great peace in the midst of it, is an incredible experience.  I do not ever wish such pain on anyone, but the comfort and undeniable presence of our Savior when it's needed the most is something that I hope everyone experiences.

Woodland
Each summer one of my favorite weeks is the one I spend at Woodland Christian Camp, serving as staff for a group of middle school girls.  God always shows up in a big way and this year was no different.  I don't attend any of the churches that send campers, so I come into the week without strong relationships with any of the campers.  Probably not ideal, but it is unbelievably cool to see the growth of relationships in only a week.  This year, one of my sweet campers accepted Christ as her Savior while a camp.  Through conversations, Bible study, and worshipping together over the week, I knew by the end of the week that her heart was genuine and she was serious.  The campers are only there for a week... but I think God thinks, I get these campers for a whole week!

cabin selfie 

our camper, Anna, who accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior

San Francisco
Not only was the trip a lot of fun, but it was definitely exactly what Byron and I needed at exactly the right time.  [thanks, God!]  Marriage is hard. And whoever tells you differently is lying.  It's way too easy to live in the same place, even if it is a 720 sq. foot apartment, and distance yourself from one another.  I'm not saying we needed to flying across the country to spend quality time together, but when the opportunity presented itself, we'd have been fools to object!  San Francisco is an incredible city.  It was on my travel bucket list before visiting and is still on it!  In fact, before we landed back in Atlanta I asked Byron when we could go back.

SF love

We loved everything about the city -- the beautiful homes and views, the eclectic people, delicious food and drinks, and hilly streets.  But we also gave each other our undivided attention there.  We were able to mend parts of our marriage we weren't aware that needed mending as we shared a giant plate of friend rice in Chinatown and biked across the Golden Gate Bridge.

Moving
Thanks to Byron's gracious, generous parents, we were finally able to move out of our terrible, tiny apartment in July.  We moved into the home where Byron grow up; moving me much closer to work, but him much farther away.  It provides us with much more space, which the dogs love.  Moving has been such a blessing.  Both Byron and I are much more joyful here.  We are growing in our interests and living much healthier.  Although it is not permanent, it is definitely something we are not taking for granted.

new digs and a new couch.  Bridget is in heaven!

Beginning of a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad School Year
I will begin this segment by stating a disclaimer: I do truly love my students and my job.  However, this school year has been quite the challenge.  Add together an interesting mix of students, a new parent conference program, and the lack of a routine to a classroom, and what do you get?  Chaos and stress.  Words cannot describe how thankful I am for my wonderful, supporting team of teachers I work with [I'd have gone crazy a loooong time ago without them] and my encouraging, understanding husband.  Since it's my 2nd year in 1st grade, I am also incredibly grateful that I have some experience under my feet with this grade.  I am also thankful that this year is halfway over -- only 18 more weeks until summer!

the first day of school

End of our Married Small Group & our Beginning at Grace
Byron and I began attending Buckhead Church during the Fall of 2013, which is where we met our wonderful married small group.  In this group we met some of the most wonderful friends.  They are undoubtably answered prayers.  Over the past 18 months our group met, enjoyed fellowship, and studied the Bible together.  Once we moved to Lawrenceville, we knew immediately that we would need a new church, and come December, our group would end.  As our group finished its meetings, Byron and I began church hunting once again, which led us to Grace Fellowship.

love these people

If this experience has proved anything, it is that God always provides when you depend on Him.  At Buckhead we found the community that we'd needed for so long, and at Grace we have found the teaching and truth we've been longing for.  Although we haven't been there long, we are excited to see how else He will provide.

Teaching.

"I can't find my chair." Well it didn't just disappear.  Look around.
"He looked at me with a mean face." I think that's just the way his face looks.
"My tooth is wiggly, looooooooook!!" Don't do that, I might throw up on you.
"I have to go to the bathroom." We just took a bathroom break!

I spend my days with children.

Sneezy, snotty, lack of personal space, attention span of a goldfish children.

Yes, I am fully aware that I choose this.

I didn't choose to become a teacher because I'd always dreamt of having an overflowing bank account.  I never once thought, Oh, this will be easy.  I knew before I stepped into my first classroom that I would often bring lesson plans and grading home.  I was fully aware that being a teacher would require the patience of Job.

There has always been an undeniable, indescribable certainty in my heart that teaching children is where God needs me.  To be honest, I have always known that in order to teach children I would need the Lord working in me and through me every single minute of every single day.  Even in a class made up of perfectly behaved, intelligent children, it would not possible to effectively teach and love the children without God's presence.  Especially in a class of rowdy, impulsive children, a teacher could never effectively educate her students if Christ isn't dwelling in her.  Imagine loving the children; genuinely loving them.

Without Christ, there's no doubt in my mind that it would be impossible.

Consoling a six year old boy as he enters the classroom bawling his eyes out, completely incapable of producing words, and spending the first twenty minutes of arrival hugging him and wiping his tears until he's finally able to muster the few words, "I miss my grandma."  Is she dead? Nope, she just lives in another city.

Conducting a classroom-wide search after a rambunctious boy removes and loses a hardly-wiggly tooth.  Teeth don't just disappear into thin air, but after a class of 20 students spends half of writer's workshop crawling under tables with hopes of finding that bloody tooth, the teacher takes it upon herself to write a letter to the Tooth Fairy explaining the vanishing tooth.

Crying on the last day of school.  Not tears of joy as the next few months will be booger and band-aid free, but tears of sadness and concern upon realizing the students who've received hugs upon entering the classroom for the past 180 days may not be hugged for the next few months.

There's a whole lot more to teaching than decorating a color-coordinated classroom and wearing a cute cardigan paired with comfortable flats.  There's more to being an educator than making copies of worksheets and teaching the Pledge of Allegiance.  Yes, the material we're teaching IS important.  After all, learning is the purpose for school, right?

What's often overlooked though, is that effective elementary teaching involves a relationship.  A strong, caring, supportive relationship.  The children need to feel safe and encouraged.  Loved.  And I don't know about you, but I've not met a single human being capable of genuinely loving 20 [or more] elementary children for eight hours a day, five days a week.  It's exhausting, and to be completely honest, some days loving your class is the last thing you want to do.

Those are the days when reliance on Christ is so important.  When you want to say ugly things and walk out the door never to return again.  Those are the days you must trust that your words aren't being spoken, but God's.  When you have no love left to give and your patience ran out a few days before, it's the peace of God in you that is keeping you sane.

To say that the first 12 weeks of this school year have been a struggle would be like comparing the strength of a twist tie to the Incredible Hulk.  I have shed more tears than I care to admit and doubted myself as a teacher constantly.  Many of my mornings are filled with whining and dragged feet.

My prayer is no longer for more patience and energy, but for God to work in my classroom.  I can't speak His name or answer their questions about faith, but I can love them.  And whether they recognize it now, next year, or when they graduate high school, I hope that my students think back to first grade and in some form remember that they were loved.  They were greeted with a hug, questioned about the results of their soccer games, and given countless band-aids for scrapes so life-threatening you'd need a microscope to see them.

My students are loved.  Through disciplines and praises, they are loved.  Not only by me, but also by the Creator of the Universe.  And before teaching them their ABCs, my first job is to teach them that they are loved.  They are loved by some strange, blonde haired teacher, even though she doesn't have to love them.  She does it by choice.

My hope is that one day, when first grade is far in their pasts, my students will be open to receiving the love of their Savior and making the choice to love him back.  Because after all, if they never learn that humans can love them, how could they ever fathom the love of the Lord Almighty and his son?

Dos Portillos, Days 3 & 4

Instead of driving directly to Dos Portillos on Wednesday morning, we stopped to visit the HOI elementary and middle schools.  There is a vast difference between the school in Dos Portillos and the HOI schools.  The HOI schools separate the students into grade levels instead of clumping them all into one room.  The students even have English as a subject and learn to use computers!

In Dos Portillos our team split for VBS and construction projects: an oven, more floors, a pila, and finishing a latrine.  Before the oven was even finished, the mother had already planned the first meal she would cook!  Can you imagine being about 60 years old and cooking with an oven for the first time?

All of the projects completed this week seem so simple to us, but to the Hondurans they are life changing.  Cement floors prevent the children from the bacteria and parasites living in the dirt.  An oven requires less wood to burn, resulting in spending less time to gathering the wood.  These projects improve their health and their quality of life. 

As we de-briefed Wednesday night, we discussed that most of the people we’ve met don’t consider themselves poor.  Instead of focusing on the things they’re lacking, their wealth is defined by what they do have.  They have a close-knit community, their families, a home, and maybe a few personal things, but aren’t constantly longing for the newer and better things.

Thursday was our day of good-byes.  In the morning a group of us visited homes for prayer.  It was powerful come together and pray aloud in our own languages as we surround a person in need.  Saying good-bye to the children at the school and the Pech community was emotional to say the least.  The children, from the school and from the Pech community, sang for us and gave each of us handmade gifts (cards, jewelry, pottery, wood carvings) before shedding tears and embracing us in hugs. 

God has spoken to us in numerous ways while we’ve been here.  He’s made it very clear to us that He is in control.  As we prepared for our trip, some of us thought there is no way I will be chosen for the trip, some applications were submitted at the very last minute, and another asked to go after the application deadline.  Until a few days before flying to Honduras, the Pech village wasn’t even a consideration for where we would work.  None of us considered how the relationships between the team would form.  But through all of that, God’s plan prevailed, as it always does.  He is powerful and always in control, just as Isaiah 14:24-27 says, “Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen.”

It is human nature to think that we are in control of our own lives – that we have the last word in what happens.  It is not by our own power that we were able to build intimate friendships and love Hondurans.  That is all Him.  It is because of God’s plan that the 16 people in our group were brought together.  When returning home, I pray that we will continue to believe and trust God’s plan in our lives.  To stop doubting what should happen, but to trust that His plan will always prevail.

Dos Portillos, Day 2

This is from yesterday -- sorry it's so late!  Today's re-cap will be posted tomorrow morning! 

There’s a lot going on in Honduras.  Physically here as well as within our hearts.

In Dos Portillos it was the second day of Vacation Bible School and construction.  Our welcome this morning  was much warmer and more personal than yesterday, with greetings by name instead of a general ‘Hola,’ and hugs instead of handshakes.

At the school the students learned the parable of Jesus feeding the 5,000 using a boy’s lunch of 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread through a skit performed by the older students.  All of us in the school were amazed at just how attentive the children were throughout the morning.  Their attention did not waiver in the slightest.

The construction teams continued to work on cement floors and latrines.  The Hondurans are eager to help and are incredibly hardworking.  They welcome us into their homes, offering coffee, kool-aid, and cokes, with eyes of joy and anticipation, thinking about how their lives will change as a result of what’s being built in their homes. 

I have loved listening to the stories everyone shares about their days.  And not only the stories, but the emotions that accompany them. 

Joy is so obviously visible when a man can tell a story about how much fun it was to throw a ball with a child and swing him through the air.  Or when the first bubbles are blown, causing laughter and screaming as children chase the bubbles. 

Compassion is undeniable in the eyes of the person who wants to help a mother learn that her child needs medical attention.  Or when a member of the community shows concern for the students who are excelling, but need assistance furthering their education.   

Amazement as we hear about just how strong the women are at the the construction sites.  Or when we talk about the fact that our group is made up of 16 people, all in different stages of life, and most of us without even a slight connection to anyone else on the trip, but how deep and intimate our friendships have already become.

I’ve mentioned it before, and will say it many more times, but the people in this group are incredible.  We haven’t ridden in the truck, eaten a meal, or sat on the porch without someone encouraging another person in the group, exactly as 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says to “Encourage one another and build each other up.”  To be honest, I’ve never experienced a group quite like this.  From expressing how hard someone is working or humbly leading others, to sharing scripture in tough situations, the support and encouragement from the other members of the group is constant. 

What’s even more amazing, is that the people in the communities have told us that they notice how loving we are – not only to them, but to each other as well.  1 John 4:10 tells us that the world will know who the children of God are because they do what is right and love their brothers [Paraphrase].   It’s crazy to think that one of the ways that we can share Christ, even when we don’t speak the same language, is by loving and encouraging each other.  At times on this trip I’ve been frustrated because of the language barrier.  I’ve thought that even my best attempt at communicating and building relationships is still not enough, but to hear that the Honduran’s observations of our group’s interactions with each other have made an impact is amazingly encouraging.  It makes me even more grateful for the people in our group and the time we’re sharing in Honduras. 

Dos Portillos, Day 1

After our 6:20 breakfast this morning, we had the opportunity to worship with the HOI staff before driving to Dos Portillos.  Dos Portillos is a very small village about 45 minutes east of the Ranch.  We parked directly in front of the school, decorated with red, white, and blue balloons, and were welcomed by the smiling students.  There are about 30 students at the school (ages 4-14) and one teacher.  The village hasn’t seen American groups in about 7 years, but the smiles on their faces beamed with undeniable excitement that we were there. 

Our group dispersed into multiple smaller groups for Vacation Bible School and construction projects, including roofing and mixing cement for a pila and multiple cement floors.  A few members of our group went into the Pech Village close by.  The Pech are a group of people who can be traced back to the Mayans (there are only about 2,000-3,000 Pech people left today). 

Everyone in our group seemed to have the similar opinions about the day:

Our hearts were shaken.  Families living in homes with only a single room.  Children without parents.  Children bearing children.  A one room school house with an 18 year old teacher.  How could these people ever be happy?  The truth, though, is this: They don’t have the luxuries and comforts we have.  Their family structures are completely different than our own.  Most children will not receive an education past 6^th grade. 

BUT

They have something we don’t have. Joy.  Pure joy.  Not bound by their circumstances and possessions.  They aren’t consumed with obtaining the latest and greatest.  Families are not limited to those who share the same bloodline.  A person’s profession isn’t the most important thing in his life. 

The sense of community amongst these people is indescribable in words.  The people depend on each other and joyfully serve one another, taking care of children and working on each other’s homes.  With bare feet and clothes that don’t match or fit correctly, they are joyful.  Genuine joy that can’t be faked.  You see it in their smiles.  It’s not about the stuff they have but the love they have and share with each other. 

Although they may have never read the Bible or be able to recognize scriptures, the people we met are living examples of them.  1 Corinthians 4:8 tells us to Fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  They do everything in love, just as 1 Corinthians 16:14 commands of us.  How great would it be if all of God’s people lived this way?!  Loving each other instead of our things.

Our first day is over and we are eager to see how God will work as we arrive in the village again today.  Pray that our hearts will continue be open to what God is showing us and that we may encourage the Hondurans as they have encouraged us.  Pray for strength and energy as we work, and for God to give us the courage and words to speak to the people we meet.

Ranch el Paraiso...Finally!

I wrote this last night, but wasn't able to connect to the internet until this morning.  Sorry it's late!

Most of our mornings began earlier than expected with the squeals from Geckos (who knew they did that?) and roosters, but thankfully there was hot coffee waiting as we arrived at breakfast!  Before we left Juticalpa this morning, we walked through the narrow streets lined with colorful buildings, produce stands, and smiling children. 

We arrived at Rancho el Paraiso in Olancho in time for lunch.  It is a very rural area, scattered with a few houses along the curvy, unpaved roads. Our group’s dorm has a porch off the back, lined with hammocks, and overlooks a field with horses.  We spent the evening relaxing on the porch, playing cards and chatting.  After dinner we joined one of the other groups staying at the Ranch (from Augusta, GA) for a few songs of worship and communion.

All of the time we’ve spent traveling in the past 2 days has provided a perfect opportunity for each of us to get to know each other better.  Our group is made up with some incredible people with such generous hearts.  There is no doubt that God strategically placed our group together!

In preparation for beginning work in the villages tomorrow, we are praying that God opens our hearts --to the people and what we will experience.  Although we have tasks that need to be completed, our main focus is the people – loving them and building relationships with them. 

Tonight I am praying through the scriptures of Ephesians in preparation for tomorrow:

Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given to me so that I will fearlessly make know the mystery of the gospel. [Ephesians 6:19]  

Be kind and compassionate to one another… be imitators of Christ and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us… [Ephesians 4:32-5:2] 

Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. [Ephesians 6:10]

Make the most of every opportunity. [Ephesians 5:16]

We Made it Safely to Honduras!

Our day started thirteen hours ago when our team met at the airport in Atlanta.  Once we landed in Tegucigalpa, we loaded a school bus for a four-hour drive through winding mountain roads to reach our hotel. 

Closer to the city the mountain sides are decorated with homes.

As we traveled we were able to see the beautiful green mountains and a variety of different homes and shops. We stopped for a snack at the Mennonite Bakery along the way and made it to the hotel in time for dinner downstairs by the pool.

1st Dinner in Honduras!

In Acts 1:8 Jesus commands us to be witnesses to the ends of the earth, and tells us that we will receive power from the Holy Spirit.  Just as Isaiah answered the Lord’s question, “Whom shall I send?” the 16 members of our team also said, “Here I am!  Send Me!”  And here we are, ready to do whatever He's got planned!

Please continue to pray for us: For safety as we continue to travel tomorrow.  For energy and courage as we meet new people.  For our hearts to be open and seeking God’s work in our own lives while we’re here.

Headed to Honduras

Missing a few members of the team, but it's the first picture of many!

Tomorrow morning our team of 16 will meet at the International Terminal at Hartsfield-Jackson, where we will spend a few hours waiting in anticipation board our plane and soar across the Caribbean.  A few hours later we will land in Tegucigalpa.

We have made our own plans regarding our week will be spent in Honduras, including Vacation Bible School and some construction projects, but excitement fills my mind as I think about what God's got in store, because His plans always  surpass our own.  It is very possible that our plans will be dismissed by His, so we've been praying for open hearts and minds, for patience and understanding as we embrace a new culture and new friendships.

In Matthew 28:19-20, Jesus commands us, "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of time."

God has called and provided the way for the 16 of us in our group to spend a week in Honduras.  To be the hands and feet of Jesus. To love the people as He would.

Please pray for us as we travel.  Pray that the Hondurans have open hearts to us as we meet them. That they will be able to see Christ in our words and actions.  Pray that their hearts, and ours as well, will experience God in new, extraordinary ways.

Thank you for your support!  We'll update each night with stories from the day!

a different kinda goal

You know the satisfaction you get from crossing something off a ‘To Do’ list?  I love that feeling: the feeling of accomplishment.  [Maybe that’s why I always have Post-Its scattered and stuck everywhere…]  Every year I look forward to setting new goals for myself.  Sometimes they are a little, or a lot, over zealous, which means I don’t accomplish them . . . but why not push myself, right?

2014’s goal is different than any I’ve ever set and it will be a whole different kind of difficult. 

In 2014, my goal is to not purchase any new clothing.

I know, I know.  Whattttt?!?

It’s weird though, because while I love to shop, I don’t feel like I overspend on clothes by any means, but I do have more clothes than I need.  28 days into 2014 I can proudly say I’ve almost made it 1 month abiding by my goal!  It sounds silly, and ridiculously materialistic, but when I think about how often I walk into Target or stop by the mall for something and unexpectedly pick up a blouse or running shorts, I realize that it happens a lot more than intended.

Knowing that I won’t be spending money on clothes this year is such a relief.  I’m looking forward to a year without purchasing new clothing and I’m excited to see how things in my life change because of it!

the end of '13

I'm pretty sure the earth began spinning much faster as soon as October ended.  How are November and December already gone?  Obviously, I've been busy [hellllllooooooo, not a single post in December, and hardly any in November].  Unfortunately, I still am, but I'm also determined to take the time to sit down an write more often.  Starting now.  And by write, I mean re-cap November and December of 2013.  In pictures...

Minnehaha Falls in early November.  We were blown away by its beauty.

Mook swam, Byron climbed, I photographed, and Bridget tried to keep her feet dry.

Ran in our tacky sweaters along the path of Christmas lights at Lake Lanier.

Spent my birthday with this hunk at King and Duke.

Celebrated Christmas with our families!!
My Grandparents' house [above]

at his parents' house 

and with my family!

Bridget loves Christmas, but wasn't too fond of her gift [a candy cane shaped bone]

Mook also loves Christmas -- particularly the gifts.

Byron and I got our 2nd tree together.  This year I even got to put all of my Barbie ornaments on it!